Why are Doritos so good?
Our forensic scientist gave us a load of media rubbish. This is what he said:
People worldwide enjoy Doritos’s flavour, taste texture and shape. They are easy to hold and easy to dip. They are also good with cheese in an oven to make nachos. They are an easy eat and yet the power that is unleashed in a single bite is even more than a taste sensation.
But why are they good for gamers?
Gamers like Doritos because they are easy food to eat with one hand on the controller so you can stop yourself from dying of hunger whilst potentially stopping yourself from dying of bullet wounds and knives in-game. Although many helpless Doritos have been selflessly sacrificed for their cause, the gamers that ate them had their health bars refilled and their hunger bars went off the scale.
So how did they get so nice?
Wikipedia tells us that years and years of sweat tears work effort and a lot of salt went into creating the magic of the Doritos that we eat. This made them officially the best chips that £2.50 can buy. Doritos are cheap but make you cheerful and will make your day a thousand times better after a single satisfying crunch. Doritos will continue to relieve the rumbling stomachs of everyone for years and years to come, because of the secret ingredient which after months of testing, re testing and re re testing, our forensic has managed to identify. The secret to Doritos mystical spell over the people of the world is simple, happiness. The happiness of everyone who decides to take a chomp of these delightful seventh wonder of the world, the happiness of the workers who make Doritos, the happiness of our scientist and the happiness of the martyr Doritos who died for this cause.
Doritos get a 5/5 as they are just the best.
The Doritos that died were at the mercy of our forensic scientist so if you want to complain go complain to him not to us.
Lost Dorito souls